MALE UK

30th Birthday song
Male UK
You remember when the Birdie Song was number one
When one pound fifty would buy you some fun
When CD's were cool and Mario snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You woke this morning something strange in bed
Ther's more hair on the pillow than on your head
It's now comin' out of your ears and nose and your belly's hangin' over your toes

CHORUS
Cause you're thirty you're thirty
You've reached the ripe old age of big three- O
Now you're thirty you know you're thirty
When your legs start shakin' as you cross the floor

You think you're cool and young at heart
But now you're called a boring old fart
When the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember top of the pops was a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Deeply Dippy was number one
now don't despair or get annoyed
Cause you'll only flair up your haemorrhoids
Your 30th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, don't let it show
Cause' in another few years you'll be Big Four-O
CHORUS

40th Birthday song
Male UK
You remember when the Beatles were number one
When two and six would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
But you woke this morning, something strange in bed
There's more hair on the pillow than on your head
It's now comin' outta' your ears and nose
And now your belly's hangin'over your toes

CHORUS
Cause you're forty Yeah you're forty
You've reached the ripe old age of big four- O
Now you're forty you know you're forty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

You think you're cool and young at heart
But now you're called a boring old fart
And when the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember top of the pops was a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Jimmy young was number one
ow don't despair or get annoyed
Cause you'll only flair up your haemorrhoids
Your birthday's just another day
you'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' fifty

CHORUS

50th Birthday song
Male UK
You remember when the Beatles were number one
When two and six would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
But you woke this morning, something strange in bed
There's more hair on the pillow than on your head
It's now comin' outta' your ears and nose
And now your belly's hangin'over your toes

CHORUS

Cause you're fifty Yeah you're fifty
You've reached the ripe old age of big five- O
Now you're fifty you know you're fifty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

You think you're cool and young at heart
But now you're called a boring old fart
And when the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember top of the pops was a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Jimmy young was number one
Now don't despair or get annoyed
Cause you'll only flair up your haemorrhoids
Your birthday's just another day
you'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' sixty
CHORUS

60th Birthday song
Male UK
You remember when the Beatles were number one
When two and six would buy you some fun
Drape suits were cool and crepe shoes snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
But you woke this morning, something strange in bed
A prostrate problem and you've wet the bed
Your body shapes changed there's no denyin'
Your skin all wrinkled it could use an iron

CHORUS
Cause you're sixty Yeah you're sixty
You've reached the ripe old age of big six - O
Now you're sixty you know you're sixty
When your bones start creaking as you cross the floor

You think you're cool and young at heart
But now you're called a boring old fart
With a black and white TV you were king of the road
And you remember Coronation Street's first episode
You cringe at Bob the Builder and the Tweenies
Yet you used to sing along with the Ovaltinies
You won't use a mobile phone or change your ways
No it's never gonna be like them good old days

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Jimmy young was number one
Now don't despair or get annoyed
Cause you'll only flair up your haemorrhoids
Your 60th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, don't ever give it a mention
Cause' in another few years you can collect your pension

CHORUS

40th Birthday Song
Male USA
You remember when Elvis was number one
When one dollar fifty would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
But you woke this morning, something strange in bed
There's more hair on the pillow than on your head
It's now comin' outta' your ears and nose
And now your belly's hangin'over your toes

CHORUS

Cause you're forty Yeah you're forty
You've reached the ripe old age of big four- O
Now you're forty you know you're forty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

You think you're cool and young at heart
But now you're called a boring old fart
And when the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember Casey Casum had a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a cell phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember Bing Crosby was number one
now don't despair or get annoyed
Cause you'll only flair up your haemorrhoids
Your birthday's just another day
you'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' fifty

CHORUS

50th Birthday Song
Male USA
You remember when Elvis was number one
Whenone dollar fiftywould buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You woke this morning something strange in bed
Ther's more hair on the pillow than on your head
It's now comin' out of your ears and nose and your belly's hangin' over your toes

CHORUS
Cause you're fiftyYeah you're fifty
You've reached the ripe old age of big five- O
Now you're fifty you know you're fifty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

You think you're cool and young at heart
But now you're called a boring old fart
When the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember top of the pops was a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Jimmy young was number one
Now don't despair or get in a mood
Cause your belly button sits in between your boobs
Your 50th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' sixty

CHORUS

60th Birthday song
Male USA
You remember when Elvis was number one
When a nickel and dime would buy you some fun
Drape suits were cool and spats were snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
But you woke this morning, something strange in bed
A prostrate problem and you've wet the bed
Your body shapes changed there's no denyin'
Your skin all wrinkled it could use an iron

CHORUS
Cause you're sixty Yeah you're sixty
You've reached the ripe old age of big six - O
Now you're sixty you know you're sixty
When your bones start creaking as you cross the floor
You think you're cool and young at heart
But now you're called a boring old fart
With a black and white TV you were king of the road
And you remember the munsters first episode
You cringe at Sesame street and MTV
Yet you used to sing along with the Bing Crosby
You won't use a cell phone or change your ways
No it's never gonna be like them good old days

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember Johnny Cash at number one
Now don't despair or get annoyed
Cause you'll only flair up your haemorrhoids
Your 60th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, don't ever give it a mention
Cause' in another few years you can collect your pension

CHORUS

40th Birthday Song
Female UK
You remember when the Beatles were number one
When two and six would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You noticed this morning, strange marks on your thighs
They even match the bags under your eyes
And you wonder if it's cause you wear your jeans too tight
Then you realise it's just the cellulite

CHORUS
Cause you're forty Yeah you're forty
You've reached the ripe old age of big four- O
Now you're forty you know you're forty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

The crow's feet on your eyes well they're a disgrace
You think an Emu must have walked over your face
When the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember top of the pops was a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Jimmy young was number one
Now don't despair or get in a mood
Cause your belly button sits in between your boobs
Your 40th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' fifty

CHORUS

50th Birthday Song
Female UK
You remember when the Beatles were number one
When two and six would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You noticed this morning, strange marks on your thighs
They even match the bags under your eyes
And you wonder if it's cause you wear your jeans too tight
Then you realise it's just the cellulite

CHORUS
Cause you're fiftyYeah you're fifty
You've reached the ripe old age of big five- O
Now you're fifty you know you're fifty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

The crow's feet on your eyes well they're a disgrace
You think an Emu must have walked over your face
When the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember top of the pops was a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Jimmy young was number one
Now don't despair or get in a mood
Cause your belly button sits in between your boobs
Your 50th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' sixty

CHORUS

60th Birthday Song
Female UK
You remember when The Beatles were number one
When Two and six would buy you some fun
When petticoats were cool and stockings snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You noticed this morning, strange marks on your thighs
They even match the bags under your eyes
And you wonder if it's cause you wear your jeans too tight
Then you realise it's just the cellulite

CHORUS
Cause you're sixty Yeah you're sixty
You've reached the ripe old age of big six- O
Now you're sixty you know you're sixty
When your legs start shakin' as you cross the floor

The crow's feet on your eyes well they're a disgrace
You think an Emu must have walked over your face
with a black and white TV you were queen of the road
And you remember Coronation Street's first episode
You cringe at Bob the Builder and the Tweenies
Yet you used to sing along to the Ovaltinies
You won't use a mobile phone or change your ways
No it's never gonna' be like them good old days

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Jimmy Young was number one
Now don't despair or get in a mood
Cause your belly button sits in between your boobs
Your 60th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, don't ever give it a mention
Don't forget the day you collect your pension

CHORUS

40th Birthday Song
Female USA
You remember when Elvis was number one
When one dollar fifty would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You noticed this morning, strange marks on your thighs
They even match the bags under your eyes
And you wonder if it's cause you wear your jeans too tight
Then you realise it's just the cellulite

CHORUS
Cause you're forty Yeah you're forty
You've reached the ripe old age of big four- O
Now you're forty you know you're forty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

The crow's feet on your eyes well they're a disgrace
You think an Emu must have walked over your face
When the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember Casey Cassum had a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Bing Crosby was number one
Now don't despair or get in a mood
Cause your belly button sits in between your boobs
Your 40th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' fifty

CHORUS

50th Birthday Song
Female USA
You remember when Elvis was number one
When one dollar fifty would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You noticed this morning, strange marks on your thighs
They even match the bags under your eyes
And you wonder if it's cause you wear your jeans too tight
Then you realise it's just the cellulite

CHORUS
Cause you're fifty Yeah you're fifty
You've reached the ripe old age of big five- O
Now you're fifty you know you're fifty
When the kids start callin' you a dinosaur

The crow's feet on your eyes well they're a disgrace
You think an Emu must have walked over your face
When the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember Casey Cassum had a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a mobile phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Bing Crosby was number one
Now don't despair or get in a mood
Cause your belly button sits in between your boobs
Your 50th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, try and look nifty
Cause' in another few years you'll be hittin' sixty

CHORUS

60th Birthday Song
Female USA
You remember when Elvis was number one
When one dollar fifty would buy you some fun
When flares were cool and platforms snappy
You remember the days when gay meant happy
You noticed this morning, strange marks on your thighs
They even match the bags under your eyes
And you wonder if it's cause you wear your jeans too tight
Then you realise it's just the cellulite

CHORUS
Cause you're sixty Yeah you're sixty
You've reached the ripe old age of big six- O
Now you're sixty you know you're sixty
When your legs start shakin' as you cross the floor

The crow's feet on your eyes well they're a disgrace
You think an Emu must have walked over your face
When the latest pop star does his rap
All you can say is what's that crap
You remember Casey Cassum had a music show
Now it takes you all day to set the video
You can't write a text message on a cell phone
Cause' you don't know the lingo and your eyesight's gone

CHORUS

You try to pretend you're still twenty one
But you remember when Bing Crosby was number one
Now don't despair or get in a mood
Cause your belly button sits in between your boobs
Your 60th birthday's just another day
You'll get over it soon or so they say
Try and walk tall, don't let it show
Cause' in another few years you'll be big seven o'

CHORUS